In The Beginning…..Two Part
This is part one for all you Men. 
In the beginning the Lord created Heaven and Earth. But He was lonely, so He took the dust and made Man. He took a rib from Man and made Woman. Women as we see them today….beautiful, voluptuous, curvacious, soft smooth skin, gentle and caressing. Beautiful hair, beautiful eyes, cute nose, nice tender kissable lips, a beautiful mouth……(pause)……then he stuck a tongue in it and ruined the whole damn works!
Wait now ladies, do not get upset and do not fear for….paybacks a bitch! This is part two for us Women. 
In the beginning the Lord created Heaven and Earth. But He was lonely so He took the dust and created Man. Man, you are in my image. He said: Man I am going to endow you with 20 years of a sexual productive life. Wow! 20 years, thank you Lord said Man.
Then god saw a Monkey and offered him the same thing he offered Man. Thank you said the Monkey, but I only need 10, give the rest to Man. So it shall be said the Lord.
Then the Lord saw a Parrot and offered him the same thing he offered Man and the Monkey. The Parrot hopped on his perch and stretched out his wings. And proudly he said, thank you Lord but I need only 10. You can give the rest to Man. So it shall be said the Lord.
Then the Lord circum-navigated the globe and found a donkey. He offered the Donkey the same benefits he offered Man, the Monkey and the Parrot. The Donkey hee hawed awhile and then he said: Thank you Lord, but 10 is all I can handle, give the rest to Man. So it shall be said the Lord.
So consequently today, Man is endowed with 20 years of a sexual productive life….10 years of monkeying around….10 years of talking about it….and 10 years of making an ASS of himself!! Bwaaahaaahaaa! So ladies, right back at them!!
07-21-2005 | 20:38 | Bwaaahaahaa!
The Wai’anae Zoo
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. We have a Zoo in Wai’anae. It’s starts in Nanakuli and ends in Makua. Let me take you on a tour.
First in Nanakuli you will see the animals called the Ladies Of The Night. They walk on 2 feet, tight shorts or mini-skirts, some of them are of the male gender, yes and they too wear skirts. You can see them on the corner by the butler building trying to pick up a trick.
When you get to Ma’ili, you will see all the vans which are used to shelter the next species of animals we call the Drug Dealers. You will see cars and bicycle riders stop by for these animals to feed.
When you reach Wai’anae town you will have your snack shops and retailers for you to buy food and souvenirs like toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, etc. Also you will see alot of animals of all colors panhandling in front of the mini-marts and drive-inns.
Moving along you will come to the Wai’anae Boat Harbor which not only ports sailing and fishing vessels, but also some species that they call Homeless. Because they are too lazy and to drugged up to go to work, and instead they beg for food and cigarettes and steal from the boats that are docked in the harbor.
Then past that you will see the High School that has classrooms on the sidewalk for those who think they are smarter than the teachers. Yes, and the subject matter will be who can smoke the most joints before they venture off to the real classrooms.
Further down the road you will come to the 7-11 convenience store where you can stop for gas or a few snacks and something cold to drink. But be careful cause there are animals who are intelligent enough to talk to themselves and bum a ciggy or ask for spare change. You have entered the Makaha district.
Moving along you will come to Makaha Surfing Beach where actually is the recreation area for normal people, and the species there are more intellectual and better for you to associate with. You can have a descent conversation with the visitors there.
Down the road you will have Yokohama’s and Pray for Sets Beach where all the surfers hang out. Then towards the end of the road is Keeau Beach Park which has been cleaned out of it’s inhabitants, but at night you will find some that consume alchohol and smoke a few joints. Thus ends the tour of the Wai’anae Coast Zoo.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. The fee for this tour is a barrel of laughs and critisizms.
06-16-2005 | 9:25 | Bwaaahaahaa!
Tagged!
Sheesh! picking on a ” little ole lady” 3T. Where’s my attorney, Hey BTude, help…………….. 
Well, anyways here goes.
Total volume of music on my hard drive: 3 possibly 4. And all songs my hubby wrote.
Last CD I bought: None. I have not yet bought a CD unless the Karaoke ones count. Then it would be….Hawaii’s Favorites volume H 2A.
Song playing now: Drop Baby Drop
Five songs I listen to the most:
1) Kamalani by Makaha Sons
2) Flying With Angels by Naleo Pilimehana
3) Darcy’s Lullabye
4) Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy by Priss
5) Bei Mire Bist DuShoen by Priss
And I tag:
Wired cause you’re my kid
Becky before she leaves HI
Running Blonde because it’s a blonde thing
MongaKim
Last but not least: Nicky Vegas. Okay Nicky boy, it’s your turn.
05-20-2005 | 14:07 | Bwaaahaahaa!